By James B. Ewers Jr. Ed.D.
Another Father’s Day has come and gone. On Sunday, June 21st, fathers celebrated with family and friends. Dinner was delicious, and the fellowship was great. Gift cards and presents were added to the occasion.
Platitudes and acclamations were plentiful, all extolling the virtues of a good dad. Being a father isn’t easy today. There are some roadblocks that fathers must get over and around.
Has reverence for fathers changed over time? That question might get some different responses.
The first man in my young life was my dad. I found him to be kind and generous with his time. Proudly, I say that my dad was a dentist in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. His birthplace was Jamaica, West Indies.
He was a graduate of the Howard University School of Dentistry in Washington, D.C. My dad was the only Jamaican in Winston-Salem, NC, until he sponsored his nephew, my cousin, Wilfred Ewers.
There were always people coming over to our house seeking his counsel and wisdom. I don’t think he ever turned anyone away. I can say without hesitation that I was blessed to have had him as my dad. My dad and mom gave me the fundamentals for success. Where would I be without them? That’s a question I never had to answer.
Fathers held important positions in our community when I was a child. They carried themselves in a way that earned your respect. It was what they said and how they said it. The combination of encouragement and kindness gave us the impetus to do our best.
The men in my neighborhood gave us an unspoken shield of protection. My dad and the other dads had a bond with each other. They knew what was important and how to impart that knowledge upon us.
My dad, Dr. James B. Ewers, was a community leader yet was always there for me. I never had to wonder if he was coming home. Hearing his voice as he walked into the house gave me instant comfort.
While I am sure he faced challenges, he never let them affect how he treated me. When I look back now, my dad had a tremendous amount of self-discipline. Was it his Jamaican heritage? Maybe it was. Not once in my life did I ever hear my dad use inappropriate language. He set a high bar, which I have tried to emulate.
Like yesterday, I can remember some of the lectures that he gave me. I believe my father helped to create the word monologue. They were commercial free as I never knew when they would end.
I sat on the couch and didn’t say a word. All these monologues had themes of doing your best each day, comportment, and education. Am I a better person for having listened to them? That’s an easy answer. Yes.
The first Father’s Day was celebrated on June 19, 1910, in Spokane, Washington. It was founded by Sonora Smart Dodd to honor her widower father who raised six children. Wishing your dad a Happy Father’s Day has become a ritual and a treasured event as well. There are many responsibilities associated with being a father. It is a special calling.
Many of us learned lessons on how to be good fathers because we had good fathers. We were fortunate to have learned from the best. Our dads showed us what character, integrity, and honesty were. There were no short-cuts to decency.
Much has changed as fathers are navigating this new age. We live in a faster-paced society. As a result, fathers are always on the go these days. If you aren’t careful, your priorities can go awry. Make time for your children now. Time has a way of slipping by you. My sage advice is not to let life get in the way of being a good father. I don’t think living with regret will feel good.
